Vodka & Ice Cream

While I was in Scotmid yesterday I realised that the woman in the queue in front of me was the stereotypical jakey ned. In fact if you were to compile a checklist of points which would qualify someone as being a jakey ned then she would get full marks. She qualified on the following grounds:
Baseball cap which was dirty & stained.
This covered hair which looked lank and greasy. It had been pulled into a pony tail in a futile attempt to disguise the lack of washing.
A pale face that looks like it hasn't seen the sun in months.
Tracksuit trouser and top which don't actually match and generally looked very dishevelled.
Stick thin due to spending all money on booze (and probably fags and the lottery).
Looked like she was in her 50s when it's more likely she is in her 30s.
Rather than having a purse or bag, she produced crumpled notes from her pocket.
Buying a litre of vodka on a Sunday just after 12.30. This is the earliest possible time to actually buy alcohol on a Sunday...
A random purchase of 2 litres of ice cream with the vodka as if pretending that it wasn't just the vodka she had come in for. Actually just had a scary thought. She may well have 3 ned kids back at home and the ice cream is what constitutes their food for the day.

Makes you proud to be Scottish....